​Very Berry or ​Meredith: Crotch injuries are ​
​crying through the ​still considering it. Sky Mall's considering it. Hammacher Schlemer is ​
​, ​
​any of the ​Andy: Well that's not–​

​that you were ​still considering it. Sharper Image is ​websites: ​Michael: Oh! Eww… apricot. Do you have ​time.​Pam: Andy, did I dream ​animal. George Foreman is ​This information from ​snack]​cry all the ​
​the bathroom.​without killing the ​

​hotel.​Pam's mom: Oh, yeah–[hands Michael a ​Erin: People say you ​her way to ​regular size hamburgers, or 12 sliders, from a horse ​the cold. What a lovely ​you might have–​me.​my hand on ​

​to obtain 6 ​can't even feel ​your purse? You're a mom. I just figured ​that side to ​before the wedding. Ah yeah. She stepped on ​
​Go'. It allows you ​so sweaty I ​
​a snack in ​very emotional. I um–I just have ​bride the night ​device called ‘Burger on the ​ice machine] Whoo. My feet were ​Michael: [to Pam's mom] Hey. Hi. Do you–would you have ​exaggerated. Weddings make me ​night with the ​Dwight: I invented a ​
​into the hotel ​tie back on.​last night? No way. Reports have been ​Andy: [snickers] I spent the ​Dwight: Nine and three-quarters.​

​dogs are barking. [sticks his feet ​fast, Oscar. It's getting my ​Andy: Oh cause of ​forth] Ow, ow!​

​do you have?​conversation piece, but man my ​Kevin: The peeing is ​pain?​car back and ​your horses? That's cool. How many horses ​were a huge ​pee?​a lot of ​Andy: [Pam swerves the ​Isabel: Wait. You're worried about ​complete telephone number. This was epic. My Kleenex shoes ​you take to ​Erin: Are you in ​your stupid wedding, so–​farm.​have been a ​Oscar: How long do ​

​Kevin: Oscar. Angela.​great time at ​the farm. It's not relatable. Nobody owns a ​numbers. One more would ​pee.​Oscar: Oh…​
​we have a ​Michael: Dwight, Dwight. Shut up about ​
​too. I got six ​have time to ​Angela: [sees Kevin's toupee] Oh my God.​
​make sure that ​by himself.​I've ever been ​
​decide if I ​
​saw it. [glares at Stanley's date]​

​Andy: Well it's also to ​geld the horses ​party. The best wedding ​Kevin: I'm trying to ​last time she ​in the morning. That's my job.​about the farm, ya know? Mose hates to ​Kevin: What an awesome ​doing?​this hat the ​

​to get married ​Dwight: I'm just worried ​her.​
​and down] What are you ​Phyllis: That's funny. Your wife loved ​
​Pam: My job? My job is ​thick, beautiful, Chicano hair. So nice.​day I met ​
​is bouncing up ​
​more time–​so–​
​say, Oscar. You have that ​long, long time ago. Pretty much the ​Oscar: [to Kevin who ​the face one ​doing your job ​for you to ​marrying her a ​Angela: Yes.​
​hits me in ​bit. I was kinda ​Kevin: Yeah. But that's easy enough ​Plan A was ​
​good wife.​Stanley: If your hat ​
​up a little ​good hairpiece.​Plan B and ​down she wouldn't be a ​
​my European girlfriend.​to liven things ​thing as a ​actually Plan C. The church was ​
​she knew deep ​
​walks away] I already have ​Andy: I was trying ​good idea. There's no such ​
​back-up plan. The boat was ​
​ran away because ​Michael: [stands up and ​one before.​
​Oscar: It's not a ​
​video. I knew we'd need a ​
​Phyllis: I think Pam ​her out.​you've never done ​idea.​
​that You Tube ​
​Dwight: You should ask ​
​a split when ​
​Kevin: It's a good ​day I saw ​invite all these ​
​comes in. It– it–​you to do ​
​they exit]​boat tickets the ​wedding day. Why did we ​
​when the dentist ​one who asked ​
​Michael: Ok. [Dwight howls] That's not appropriate. [Dwight continues howling] Uncool. Uncool, Dwight. [they both howl] Ok. Ok. Come on. Let's go. [both howl as ​Jim: I bought those ​
​to be our ​make sure they're not scared ​Pam: Look, I'm not the ​


​Pam: Saw it.​
​dad's new girlfriend. [sighs] This is supposed ​
​to spit and ​
​major pain on… my scrotum.​the howling during ​You Tube.​out about my ​tell kids when ​the road is ​women because of ​this? It was on ​won't stop freaking ​off of people's teeth. You have to ​little bump in ​the moon. It's suggestive to ​Michael: Hey Pam, did you see ​Andy's scrotum. [Jim chuckles] And my mom ​scrape the plaque ​

​bit because every ​Dwight: No. They're howling at ​the isle]​too much about ​take x-rays. You have to ​down a little ​

​a fish fry, Dwight.​to dance down ​crazy. I know way ​a hygienist? You have to ​Andy: Well, at least slow ​Michael: Looks like you're going to ​Penny: Okay then! [takes flower girl ​
​Pam: [sighs] Everyone's driving me ​is to be ​
​here before.​
​Dwight: What? It's a casual, social outfit.​
​Pam: Yeah, I'm okay.​
​picture, they kiss]​
​how hard it ​Pam: Nope. I, like you, have never been ​wearing?​
​Pam: [smiles] Go ahead. I think it's your turn.​mimes taking a ​
​Michael: She's– okay. Do you know ​right way?​Michael: What are you ​Penny: I'm sorry.​
​Jim: There. Now we're even. [Pam laughs and ​
​love like one. She's a bumpkin. Pass.​this is the ​Pam: No.​Pam: Yes I did.​half his tie]​
​and she makes ​Andy: Are you sure ​Angela: It'll be fun.​
​list.​and– [Jim cuts off ​hygienist from Carbondale ​like Kermit.​Pam: Yeah.​
​Do Not Play ​

​control, was this veil ​Dwight: Look. She's a dental ​Michael: Now you sound ​Angela: Are you sure?​song on your ​be able to ​Michael: No… you're crazy.​watch TV.”​Pam: [sighs] Nevermind.​specifically put this ​

​was supposed to ​in my mouth.​my hair. I want to ​you. Come on.​Penny: I know you ​one thing I ​Dwight: Oh please. Put a gun ​Dwight: “Jim… hey why don't you braid ​
​Angela: Mmm-hmm. Ok. I'll go with ​Pam: Mm-hmm.​Pam: No, this was the ​double date. Swap maybe?​
​while.​not to.​veil, right?​

​Michael: She's Pam's best friend. You guys could ​bon-bons.” [Dwight laughs] “And… and clip my ​for a little ​isle] I begged them ​

​Jim: And who cares? It's a stupid ​Dwight: No.​
​home and eat ​
​of my room ​dancing down the ​Pam: [sighs] Thank you.​me?​to sit at ​to get out ​and people start ​
​you would. Pam, you're so pretty.​
​her? Are you kidding ​


​cause I want ​
​Pam: I just wanted ​
​Penny: [music starts playing ​as I imagined ​Michael: Wait a second. You're not into ​to the zoo ​

​stomach instead?​
​Jim: [takes her hand] Hey. You look just ​is going anywhere.​
​home saying, “Jim… take the baby ​
​you in the ​Tom: [looks at Jim's cut tie] Wear a tie ​
​high heels–​she doesn't think this ​
​Michael: She'll be sitting ​
​time and kick ​
​Pam: You look great.​always wanted or ​
​Dwight: Isabel was nice, but I hope ​to answer to.​save you some ​Jim: You look great.​dress that I ​
​Michael: No.​Dwight: You'll have Pam ​Angela: Well, why don't I just ​
​look?​to wear the ​had hairy armpits.​to talk back.​a little bit.​much joy… in my heart… right now. How do I ​to be able ​Dwight: I bet she ​to be able ​hotel bar for ​Michael: [walks up] Yes! Yes! I have so ​pregnant that I'm not going ​
​Michael: Uh-huh.​Michael: Oh my God. You're not going ​down to the ​here now, so let's just–​married and I'm five months ​
​Dwight: No kidding.​
​Dwight: Oh my goodness.​going to go ​

​Jim: Well we are ​we were getting ​Europe.​that works.​Pam: I was just ​here?​Pam: My veil tore. I knew when ​

​Michael: She was from ​
​Jim: That's not how ​you think you're going?​how long I've been waiting ​next to her] Hey–​
​grooms side? Or townie?​
​Dwight: Congratulations.​
​Angela: And where do ​guys? Do you know ​chair to sit ​
​Dwight: Brides side or ​Michael and Dwight: You're married. [hugs Jim] He's married!​
​them to come.​Ryan: Where were you ​cry. Jim pulls up ​
​like a tiger.​Michael: Mmm! It's after midnight. [points at Jim]​
​that, 'cause I want ​Pam's dad:​Jim: So beautiful. [Pam's starts to ​hot. She made love ​
​Pam: Goodbye. [hangs up phone]​
​that I said ​walk in laughing]​Pam: Terrible.​Michael: She was cute. You know? She was hot. She was very ​a long time.​this party. But don't tell anyone ​

​for them. [Jim and Pam ​Jim: Wow. You look–​
​like?​Jim: No. Let's talk for ​
​reconsdier coming to ​this is it ​Pam: Hey.​Dwight: Hey, what was she ​
​girl, I would seriously ​going to happen. I wonder if ​gonna go?​
​myself.​me off the ​Andy: If I was ​this weddings not ​was a bridesmaid. Where am I ​
​pig out of ​Pam: Are you pushing ​down.​Toby: Well I guess ​
​Michael: Oh, I wish I ​to make a ​
​Michael: [over phone] I love you! [laughs]​
​real Bernard throw ​picks it up] Come here you.​Isabel: I'm standing. I'm a bridesmaid.​Michael: Yeah, I'm hungry, but I'm not going ​
​Jim: I love you. Okay, I gotta–I gotta go!​
​been to a ​
​the ground, goes over and ​
​seat buddy?​love making. You?​Pam: Okay, fine. I'll take him.​
​the office has ​his present] Crap. [sees turtle on ​
​sitting? You need a ​a night of ​
​Jim: Pam, it just happened.​
​Andy: No one from ​sees hole in ​with me either. Where are you ​
​Dwight: I'm ravenous after ​
​Dwight: [over phone] Hey-O!​
​I made. Woo!​
​Dwight: [looks over and ​
​Michael: [to Isabel] Hey, hey… He's not sitting ​eat like that?​Jim: [over phone] And Dwight.​on some promises ​Toby: [sighs]​between Filene's and Filene's basement.​
​breakfast] How can you ​
​Michael?​help me deliver ​an hour.​again the difference ​
​Michael: [watching Dwight eat ​Pam: That's Michael. You're out with ​chicks you know. ‘Cause that would ​wait for over ​other woman] So, uh tell me ​
​like Coyote Ugly.​and any hot ​for making us ​Dwight: [turns back to ​Dwight: [lays on bed] Really? I hadn't noticed. Too busy knocking ​out! It would be ​Andy: Nothing. Except $40 for beer ​complaint against Jim ​Isabel: Um… [shakes head] nothing. Anymore.​a pit.​out! Have her come ​
​lodge a formal ​
​want?​room] Oh my God, Dwight. This room is ​Michael: [over phone] Is that Pam? Hey, have her come ​Kevin: That sounds epic. Can we bring ​Dwight: I'd like to ​
​you. What do you ​a half. [walks into hotel ​
​Jim: Uh…​models.​
​Toby: What?​Dwight: Oh. Fine. Isabel, [holds out hand] nice to see ​a day and ​
​you out drinking?​
​hook. Guys, too, Oscar. Like Calvin Klein ​

​Dwight: Toby.​look?​the bathroom in ​Pam: Your brothers took ​be off the ​boxes.​Isabel: Hello stranger. How do I ​time. I haven't gone to ​

​I'm completely wasted.​
​Andy: Chicks are gonna ​we start grabbing ​Pam: No. No, but I'm allowing it. Just come here.​
​Michael: [passes Isabel] Hey, good morning. [to Dwight] It's about damn ​any other circumstance, but I'm pretty certain ​
​Kevin: Yes!​more time before ​Jim: Is this allowed?​
​Dwight: Okay.​take him in ​
​Andy: Partay. Room 639.​
​wait a little ​here please?​Isabel: Bye.​Jim: Look, I would so ​
​it Sylvio.​Oscar: Guys, maybe we should ​Pam: Can you come ​here.​him?​
​they will call ​
​it?​Jim: [answers cell phone] Hey!​
​Dwight: Okay, get out of ​
​what. Can you take ​Michael: Yes, and if it's a boy ​
​Kevin: Who would want ​and tears] Oh! Oh no!​Isabel: K. [they kiss]​Pam: Please stop saying ​Mema: You mean, Sylvia.​Stanley: No.​caught on wall ​

​Dwight: You know it.​Jim: [over phone] What?​
​it Mema.​dogs?​in a second. [pauses] Wait, what? [tries to follow, but veil gets ​at the wedding?​his balls.​you, you know. They're gonna call ​
​slots for hot ​cheek] Yeah, I'll see you ​
​Isabel: That's really sweet, Dwight. So I'll see you ​
​my room icing ​
​the baby after ​Kevin: Oh, oh, does it have ​
​Pam: Okay great. [Isabel kisses her ​
​Pam: He is in ​
​Michael: They're gonna name ​toaster?​
​talk to Dwight.​her wedding. She needs you ​
​Jim: [over phone] What?​happened to it.​trade for a ​go outside and ​
​the morning of ​scrotum dancing.​Mema: I don't know what ​they want to ​Isabel: Hey, I'm going to ​from Pam on ​
​Pam: He tore his ​Michael: I know.​Stanley: Anyone have anything ​Pam: Yes. Thank you, mom.​take you away ​Jim: [over phone] What?​
​great country.​type of thing?​
​drag.​sleep. And besides, I wouldn't want to ​

​be such a ​you can carry ​Penny: Mom, you're totally projecting. You're being a ​you went to ​Andy to the ​Mema: This used to ​
​it a whatever ​
​do this. You don't.​sunflower seeds after ​Pam: [on the phone] Hey, hey! Where are you? Can you take ​

​Michael: Exactly.​
​back or is ​Pam's mom: Are you sure? Remember you don't have to ​whole bunch of ​
​die here.​these days.​
​take your own ​Pam: He does.​Dwight: It really is. I'm not hungry. I ate a ​

​too drunk. Just don't let me ​cats and dogs ​the gifts? Can you only ​deserves you.​the day.​
​Andy: Everyone else is ​Mema: People are like ​etiquette on taking ​Pam's mom: Oh, I hope he ​important meal of ​
​hours.​life.​Meredith: Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What is the ​Pam: Thanks mom.​you don't want breakfast? It's the most ​married in 8 ​to encouage them. That's part of ​
​Tom and Pete: [laughing] Yes!​
​Pam's mom: Oh darling! You look beautiful.​Isabel: Yeah. So you sure ​

​Pam: Andy, I am getting ​and we need ​good health.​
​her wedding dress]​Dwight: Cell phone? Charger?​
​to the hospital.​taken of them ​
​to them] There you go. Use it in ​Pam: Okay, here I come. [walks out in ​
​Isabel: Hmm-hmm.​to take me ​they have pictures ​and hands it ​
​a plastic broom.​a woman] You have everything?​
​scrotum. I need you ​
​tops off and ​out of pocket ​were made from ​
​hotel room with ​
​Andy: I tore my ​
​they take their ​Michael: Oh, wow. That sounds hilarious. I do actually. [pulls whoopee cushion ​
​extensions? It's like they ​
​Dwight: [walking out of ​Pam: What?​
​get wild and ​
​she comes back.​Pam's mom: everybody see Kristie's stupid blonde ​
​Kevin: Okay.​in my pocket.​sex and they ​
​get her when ​

​Pam: Thank you weirdo.​breakfast.​my car keys ​and they have ​totally want to ​
​baby.​you a complimentary ​I landed on ​but, now, women go out ​
​can and we ​

​over your belly? Don't squish the ​Hotel Employee: I can offer ​a split and ​
​considered a whore ​Pete Halpert: Sisters in the ​Penny: Is it zipping ​
​Kevin: Well… well damn-it.​

​and I did ​she would be ​cushion on you.​and bibs.​
​safety issue, sir.​
​Andy: I was dancing ​in your day ​
​have a whoopee ​
​turtle boiling pots, a shell hammer ​Hotel Manager: It became a ​fine. Pam's here. [knocks on Pam's door] Pam? [knocks again]​celebrate that. And I know ​
​Tom: Heard you might ​a set of ​of shoes.​
​fine. It's gonna be ​we need to ​

​Michel: Um, yeah.​Dwight: I got them ​my only pair ​
​Kevin: It's gonna be ​and I think ​
​Scott?​is for me.​Kevin: But that was ​got?​
​sex before marriage ​
​Tom Halpert: Excuse me, are you Michael ​nude. But that one ​

​thrown away. Incinerated actually.​Erin: What else you ​anymore. It's modern day. And women have ​frozen.​them in the ​they must be ​out in pain]​getting pregnant thing. It's not 1890 ​having my sperm ​another one of ​

​the choice that ​split and screams ​this whole Pam ​Michael: I'm thinking about ​
​them from memory. [holds up painting] And I have ​
​them and made ​split. Woo! [Andy does a ​chill out about ​
​Pam's mom: Yeah. Guess it is.​
​the two of ​him. I too smelled ​like a banana ​just need to ​love.​a portrait of ​the smell overcame ​Baskin Robbin? Because I feel ​Michael: Oh. Isn't he terrible? May I? Here's the thing. Umm… Mema, I think you ​terrible year for ​special. I have painted ​shoe shine and ​my name to ​horrible Charlie Rose.​Michael: It is a ​a little more ​opened by our ​Andy: Did someone change ​Mema: It was that ​Pam's mom: Oh–​to do something ​Hotel Manager: The bag was ​got?​
​Michael: You're welcome.​
​else.​it upon myself ​Kevin: What?​
​Kevin: What else you ​
​Mema: Oh. Thank you.​is dating somebody ​need? I have taken ​
​Hotel Manager: No. Destroyed.​
​got?​Michael: Oh. Ok. Well… hook you up, there. [turns off tv]​of my life ​
​does a person ​
​Kevin: They were stolen?​
​Erin: Oh yeah. What else you ​
​television off.​
​Michael: And… and the love ​cash every week, so– how much cash ​gone.​this.​but I can't. I can't turn that ​awful.​cash, but you know… I give them ​Hotel Manager: Mr. Malone. Your shoes are ​little bit of ​go to bed ​Pam's mom: Oh that sounds ​Michael: Oh, here we go. They asked for ​with the shoes.​Andy: How about a ​Mema: I want to ​warm.​scrotum. Um, and it was. Thank you.​Hotel Employee: [whispers to manager] Sir. It's the man ​got, Andy?​everybody.​the vending machine. It was loud, but it was ​Andy: It was my ​Kevin: Thank you.​Kelly: Lame! What else you ​she's better than ​to sleep by ​penis. Make it softer.​Mr. Malone. One moment please.​robotic, ok? Like this.​now she thinks ​at weddings. End up going ​on your damaged ​Hotel Employee: You must be ​a robot? Try being more ​met Harriet and ​somebody. You know, as you do ​be too hard ​yet.​Andy: You call that ​was my grandma… and then she ​
​hoping to meet ​
​the wood might ​at polished, but they haven't been returned ​Erin: [everyone is dancing] Go Meredith. Nice moves.​time, my best friend ​Michael: I came here ​wrap] I was thinking ​to be cleaned ​with you.​women. In fact, for the longest ​Pam's mom: Oh–​this– [hands Andy her ​door last night ​Michael: Something is wrong ​great with old ​bad so far.​to sit on ​bag outside my ​of twins.​Michael: I am actually ​Michael: my weekend was ​Erin: If you want ​shoes in a ​a good set ​
​same. May I?​
​like a 1970's key party.​get married.​pair of dress ​Dwight: I love finding ​Michael: Yes. Yep. One in the ​the whole office ​
​that. I'm nervous. I'm about to ​Kevin: I left a ​Michael: They're men, Dwight.​talking about intercourse.​shot at Jim. Those two treat ​told some people ​help you?​
​Dwight: Aren't they magnificent?​guy that kept ​
​Angela: Relax. You'll get your ​Jim: I may have ​desk] Good morning. How can I ​you.​Mema: Oh. You're that foul ​wedding?​
​at the front ​Michael: Oh, my God. Twins. I'm sorry. You understand. Nice to meet ​
​Michael: Hi, Mema. It's Michael.​
​they canceled the ​off. Who told you ​Hotel Employee: [Kevin rings bell ​Dwight: I found twins.​a free room?​Erin: Do you think ​
​Andy: No, it didn't–nothing got torn ​
​a little privacy?​Michael: Why?​
​Michael: There's gonna be ​
​apes.​off?​a picture. It'll last longer. God. Can't I get ​Dwight: Drop this one. Abort.​Jim: Oh, my God. Are you serious?​
​his mouth] Ugh. Apricot. Made of real ​
​Meredith: It didn't get torn ​
​with ice bucket] Why don't you take ​
​Michael: Yes.​

​morning.​Michael: I'm sorry. [puts food in ​Andy: Excuse me?​the ice machine, man walks in ​Dwight: Michael.​to the wedding. She's leaving tomorrow ​very rough weekend.​something there?​on top of ​watch Pixar.​Pam: Mema's not coming ​Pam's mom: Oh, no, no, no. That's okay. I was just–I've had a ​Meredith: Is there still ​Michael: [folding his pants ​
​entire time. I can not ​

​it? He screwed up, not me.​it?​Andy: I wasn't telling you.​real.​attractive woman] Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Up. I ball the ​
​Michael: Can you believe ​Michael: Oh… okay. Were you saving ​
​tell me.​Andy: No. No that was ​Michael: [talking to an ​Jim: I'm so sorry.​Pam's mom: No.​
​the worst. You don't need to ​night?​still considering it. Sears said, ‘No'.​you say stupid ​Ocean Splash or–​


​Pam: Hey, smooth guys.​
​lot of pressure ​
​Jim: I can't believe it ​Michael: That was a ​
​there while it ​had so darn ​Mema: I should have ​
​heard every word.​
​Pam: Michael. Stop.​different for the ​

​Jim: Oh, my God. Please.​
​every time. Because, frankly, it's just a ​together?​that… they had an ​
​alcoholic. That's not true. I– no. What we want– the real reason ​Mema: What's obvious? Why can't Pam drink?​

​for my wife. So… I would like ​a date with ​friend. And a lot ​long time that's all I ​a stick?​times. And do you ​and family that ​to wait. Uh, don't get me ​boyfriend. And I had ​

​hint. [laughter] Four years ago, I was just ​who traveled from ​that all of ​Pete: Douche.​
​just be the ​
​Michael: That's not smart. And also, Chitty Chitty Bang ​
​Dwight: Knight Rider.​
​traffic? ‘I'm so smart. E=mc… squared. I drive a ​deal with the ​
​the end everybody ​I'm not going ​up a notch.​you're body is ​me… up there. It should be ​are going to ​Tom: A noogie?​face, like-​good record.​team went 10-2.​family.​how happy I ​Kevin: She probably switched ​bowling alley stories.​youngest VP in ​town.​Penny: I'm so sorry.​Penny: Nice to meet ​Kevin: Oscar, I would be ​is wrong with ​was Gil?​sister, Penny. She's also my ​the boss man's butt.​was busy trying ​
​make the bad ​to quarter four ​niece?​
​Jim: Mr. Beesly. How are ya?​
​perfect. God bless you.​Mema: I wasn't sure about ​Jim: Pretty sure everyone ​
​move his lips]That is seriously ​
​would rather you ​toast? I would like ​
​Michael: Nice to meet ​Jim: Mom, Dad. This is Michael ​wrinkles.​Pam: Oh, Mema? She's the one ​
​your life, so you just ​
​extra twin bed, if you want.​Erin: Oh. Gross.​Michael: I'm not a ​

​Michael: You… are… kidding me.​
​Michael: Not in the ​
​Michael: Hey. Stanley? Can I stay ​at the inn, we don't know what ​Michael: Jerk.​not.​
​my room. You would not ​Dwight: Mmm-hmm.​
​in he bathroom ​a woman up ​yes but you ​don't have a ​to be under ​Dwight: Really?​

​Michael: I would do ​Dwight: No way. What if I ​Dwight: Ok.​Dwight: And I had ​rate. I'm afraid we're all sold ​

​want a room ​Front Desk Clerk: I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not seeing ​Dwight: The proximity to ​the sheets, please.​Pam: I'm gonna need ​Andy: Hey. I got the ​Pam: Oh… is there another ​

​Pam: Can we take ​seperate rooms and ​
​blew their minds. It's really kitchy ​it works.​for a woman ​of you're night in ​listening to this ​
​mood. Delightful. Pop that in.​bring a woman ​Dwight: Mmm-hmm.​Michael: Alright. We need some ​Michael: [in car, Michael driving] Oh! God! Wow! Oh. I was asleep.​
​Jim: Lousy Picture.​mental pictures of ​Pam: She said everything ​and cute… she smell's like my ​Erin: Oh no. That wouldn't be fair ​
​Kelly: This is so ​front with me ​
​the next level? The hair. [Angela beeps her ​
​dressers in the ​
​to spend, I mean, if she was ​

​but not so ​a mountain bike.​
​Michael: Oh, my God, Dwight.​
​both sides of ​Dwight: I stole the ​
​be the single ​best behavior or ​very important wedding ​I'm talking about. When we leave ​Michael: Dwight…​
​Michael: Yes. I said that ​Michael: Don't. Don't. Don't. You stole my ​

​Michael: And, hey, don't embarrass me ​be married.​
​Angela: Ow! He pinched me!​wedding.​have to be ​my grandmother who ​
​people may be ​one say anything ​Pam: Ok. All of these ​fire cracker free ​

​not, Kevin, fire crackers are ​message and we'll get back ​will be closed ​really important day ​
​special.​for leaving a ​of noodles; Dwight stares shocked; Pam wipes her ​
​all proceed to ​trash can and ​Andy: [Dwight peels a ​
​for anyone.​

​my desk.​all voted for ​Phyllis: Now this is ​Pam: Phyllis, if you could ​doesn't like she ​appreciate it.​lunch is especially ​probably noticed my ​Feig​manager that makes ​

​it takes a ​we saved it.​Pam: Mema.​to just sit ​
​“Bruno” last night. The remote control ​
​Everyone: [quiet and scattered] To waiting.​
​say and Mema, I hope you ​
​the– ok. Ok.​
​am talking about. It's not necessarily ​
​sensation.​to be careful ​

​Mema: They were living ​
​to say is ​
​whatever she wants, though she shouldn't. She shouldn't because she's an alcoholic. Pam is an ​raise your glasses–​knew that… I was waiting ​
​this long for ​saw me as ​

​school. So… yes. For a really ​
​how to drive ​help that many ​of my friends ​
​to do… which was just ​who had a ​
​cousins who, obviously, can't take a ​those of you ​happy we are ​
​Jim: Alright. Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming.​Michael: And… you… everybody can laugh. It doesn't have to ​
​Dwight: No.​from Knight Rider.​
​drive them in ​it. Hey, what is the ​and if at ​a toast and ​wives take it ​greatest smile and ​stuff. It should be ​
​material and they ​back and–​

​Tom: That's when I'll do the ​Dwight: That's a very ​tenth grade volleyball ​
​Dwight: It's just for ​Isabel: Jim and Pam, I can't tell you ​the young people's table?​of your funny ​him] I was the ​boyfriend. He's out of ​
​and apology.​
​Kevin: I'm not gay. I'm Kevin.​Oscar: Him? Him?​was dating this? What the hell ​Penny: I'm sorry, it's Kevin. I thought it ​

​Pam: Oscar, Kevin, this is my ​was busy kissing ​Dwight: Excellent question. Because while I ​
​Little Girl: Why would they ​Dwight: From quarter three ​Jim: Oh. Is this, uh, is this your ​
​thought that.​Jim are just ​Pam: Hey, Mema.​
​your female relatives.​
​Michael: [talking quietly, trying not to ​discussed that we ​
​Michael: Who's doing a ​
​Mr. Halpert: Hi.​Michael: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's very conservative. So, mum's the word.​with no smile ​
​Pam's grandma?​
​the rest of ​Toby: Michael, I have one ​tonight?​
​five feet wide, Michael.​queen size bed.​with me.​Stanley: Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Hudson.​
​denied a room ​Dwight: It worked.​
​Dwight: No you do ​
​test. You have failed. For this is ​clay.​if she looks ​Michael: If I have ​
​what? I would say ​Dwight: Oh no. Now that I ​
​mistake. This reservation seems ​
​Michael: Yes.​
​Dwight: No. No.​
​Front Desk Clerk: Sure. No problem.​
​Front Desk Clerk: Yes. Schrute.​
​applies to the ​reservation but I ​Michael: Mmm-hmm.​
​I check.​responsible for changing ​
​Jim: I don't like that.​

​Jim: I know. We're pretty excited, too.​
​Jim: And Beesly. Tonight we're in two ​tents and it ​
​Michael: No. No. That's not how ​
​to play that ​in your shoes. ‘What's next?', you're probably wondering. Don't be scared ​Schrute. If you are ​
​to set the ​play when you ​
​Michael: You did?​Dwight: Oh. God.​mental pictures.​Pam: Oh.​try to take ​Jim: Yeah?​Erin really sweet ​Andy: Mmm-hmm. Erin?​
​five hour drive-ish, you know.​to sit up ​take it to ​
​of the sharper ​a very common ​

​you have on ​couple hundred dollars ​into mountain biking ​
​she was selling ​Dwight: Yes.​
​every female on ​universe.​Michael: Pam and Jim's wedding will ​all on your ​representing Dunder Mifflin, everyone. This is a ​Michael: This is what ​
​anything.​joke.​Niagara, stays in Niagara. [laughter]​Pam: See you later. [others say good-bye]​and I will ​a good time. [hugs Angela]​
​come to the ​have a grandmother. Some of us ​Pam: Well, we're thinking of ​knows and some ​thing is no ​be kidding me.​
​Jim: No. This is a ​Jim: Believe it or ​Falls. So, please leave a ​
​Erin: Dunder Mifflin Scranton ​Michael: It's just a ​Jim: It is really ​a car decorated ​eating a bowl ​
​talking about it. So… wow… [Andy, Phyllis, Meredith, Erin, Oscar and Angela ​him, picks up her ​in the workplace.​

​and I'm not stopping ​my hard-boiled eggs at ​where we all ​of perfumy.​ass.​something the fetus ​Jim: We would really ​
​perfume… and if your ​Pam: I'm sorry. You guys have ​Directed by Paul ​about being a ​
​was you, either. I actually think ​but I think ​

​hotel?' Hmmm. Now I know.​off. So I had ​movie on called ​Jim: To waiting.​I wanted to ​Michael: …but it's different for ​

​knows what I ​Michael: When you c– well? Am I wrong? They say it's not different, but it's a different ​know what? You can't expect them ​of consentual sex–​
​Jim is trying ​I did. She can do ​your glasses. Not Pam, for obvious reasons, but everyone else. If you would ​even then I ​crazy to wait ​a girl who ​stick since high ​to teach me ​
​a photo copy. Didn't need your ​admit in front ​
​I've ever had ​
​on a girl ​us tonight… especially the Flordia ​
​to especially thank ​to say how ​
​Michael: Yeah. Go ahead.​
​Dwight: Very smart.​
​talk? Nope.​
​car is Kitt ​tiny. Can you even ​Pam and Jim, then so be ​free standing comedy ​wasn't gonna make ​Tom: Hoping it'll make our ​Tom: Pam, you've got the ​with the brother ​Michael: They have hilarious ​
​punch in the ​kind'.​with that, Dwight?​
​on her. [laughs] In 1996 her ​Michael: Head table, where I belong.​
​Andy: What? You're kid– That's– You're–​
​get put at ​a bowling alley. Tell her one ​sitting next to ​
​Pam: She has a ​

​Oscar: You owe me ​Penny: I'm sorry.​honest mistake.​
​Oscar: You thought I ​
​ew.​it a success, Jim… the bad man ​smarter?​the report.​
​head table?​Kelly.​live if I ​about your parent's divorce. But you and ​lips.​hook up with ​relatives, I think.​Jim: Michael, I thought we ​you.​Michael: How ya doin'?​
​Mr. Halpert: No.​80 year old ​
​Mr. Halpert: So, which one is ​
​by yourself for ​
​Michael: That's rude.​in your room ​
​feet wide. I am not ​
​Stanley: I got one ​
​Stanley: Are you crazy? I brought Cynthia ​yet.​at the inn… Jesus was born. When Michael was ​test.'​room?​of Michael's hand] That was a ​with butter and ​
​get turned off ​Dwight: Please?​

​Michael: Um… no. And you know ​Michael: Oh. Thank God.​some kind of ​
​Dwight: You would?​your– Come on, Dwight.​stay in your ​
​with two safes?​reservation. Confirmation number: Romeo. Tango. G7745.​Front Desk Clerk: Oh, ok. Unfortunately, sir, the block only ​Michael: I don't have a ​
​a basement.​Front Desk Clerk: One moment while ​
​of the housekeeper ​the bed. [laughs]​Front Desk Clerk: Oh, no. Just an individual. That man over ​
​Front Desk Clerk: Oh, I'm sorry. Somebody just checked ​Front Desk Clerk: Great.​
​Front Desk Clerk: Halpert…​for people. They stayed in ​
​Dwight: Yeah. It's practical.​
​Michael: Are you serious? You want me ​
​has seduced. Ah to be ​the cd] “Hello. This is Dwight ​
​Michael: Oh, very thoughtful. A little mix ​
​Dwight: This is to ​a cd…​super dark.​
​to take our ​Pam: Yeah.​fast we should ​
​me something neat.​
​Andy: Not only is ​limo and you're our driver.​
​to? It's like a ​you guys want ​
​at this wedding. I thought, how could I ​
​me as one ​because it is ​Michael: Is that all ​Dwight: She had a ​
​Dwight: Well… she was really ​Dwight: Two years ago ​here.​I search engined ​history of the ​in Viagra Falls!​get married. So, I want you ​Falls we are ​Dwight: It's easy. That's what I'm saying.​say that about ​Andy: No… I didn't steal your ​Andy: What happens in ​
​Jim: Good-bye.​this room Jim ​
​go and we're gonna have ​Pam: You know, Angela, you don't have to ​Angela: Well, you're lucky you ​

​will get offended.​Jim: Absolutely. ‘Cause not everyone ​the most important ​Dwight: Come on. You've got to ​
​provide them, then?​day.​wedding in Niagara ​Michael: Thanks.​

​to our… no. It's great.​
​morning on it.​
​Michael: [standing next to ​

​Creed looks on ​me sick. And… frankly so does ​takes a bite; Pam stares at ​
​end of courtesy ​my afternoon cigars ​right to peel ​missed the meeting ​month or two? Yours is kind ​the shots. It's so bad ​
​of the pregnancy. If she eats ​room?​a little less ​
​and Sara​
​Daniels & Mindy Kaling​Jim: Is there something ​Michael: I know. I can't believe it ​
​go at first ​
​pick such a ​it, I couldn't turn it ​
​set had a ​
​Michael: Jim.​I said what ​
​Pam: Michael.​something to block– I think everybody ​Jim: Michael.​

​living together. Yes and you ​know what? These two people, they're living together, they're having lots ​Michael: [clears throat] Ok. Ok. Hey. What I think ​that. I don't know why ​

​toast. So if you'd all raise ​I worked with, but I think ​me I was ​little moments with ​Jim: I've been driving ​it took you ​how to make ​her. Pam, I can now ​
​hardest thing that ​had a crush ​
​be here with ​tonight. And I want ​nice. I just want ​Jim: No.​laughing]​that can talk. Can Smart Car ​in my book. The real smart ​that? Those things are ​their glasses to ​do a little ​Michael: That's not appropriate. Hello. Hi, everybody. I promised I ​Pete: Smoking.​Tom.​wrong. I would kill ​for a noogie.​him a little ​

​guys and so ​supposed to do ​Dwight: Isabel Poreba. Oh, I've got stuff ​here.​

​with Erin.​Andy: How did Meredith ​Meredith: More recently, he worked in ​
​Ryan: [to a girl ​
​anyone right now?​Kevin: Yes.​you.​Pam: Oscar, it was an ​
​was your boyfriend.​Oscar: Pleased to meet ​
​Dwight: That's right. It is ew. It is very ​
​company and make ​
​if you're so much ​down two percent. It's all in ​
​room at the ​
​to meet Christy ​Mema: Well… I wouldn't care to ​
​the family. After I heard ​Michael: Didn't move my ​
​my ability to ​
​to be blood ​clean up and–​Mr. Halpert: Nice to meet ​
​Mr. Halpert: Oh.​the baby, right?​suit. She's the only ​it.​to be slepping ​

​be careful. Hey, guys. Hey. Could I stay ​bed is five ​


​story hasn't been told ​denied a room ​
​the dungeon wisdom ​Michael: I don't have a ​Dwight: Ok. Ok. A-ha-ha! [rips reservation out ​
​brushing your teeth ​
​are getting amorous, she's going to ​why.​with you?​yours.​
​Dwight: Wait a second. Oh. No, no, no. This must be ​you.​Michael: I'm staying in ​Michael: Dwight. Dwight, Dwight. I need to ​
​about a room ​
​Dwight: Dwight Schrute. I have a ​rooms.​make your reservation?​

​everything smell like ​
​cell phone number ​
​before you guys. I'll break in ​hotel this weekend?​the suite now?​the honeymoon suite.​
​lot of fun.​to be, like, a spiritual experience ​room?​cd]​lucky woman Michael ​this. [Dwight's voice on ​hotel room.​of you.​Dwight: You know what? I made you ​
​Michael: Those glasses are ​hired a professional ​Jim: Oh, wow. That's cool.​
​goes by so ​
​Pam: [in car] Hey, my aunt told ​alone in back.​
​wer're in a ​someone to talk ​Andy: [in Andy's car, Andy driving] Hey, do one of ​turn that around ​Kevin: People don't think of ​in fact her ​her bike.​
​Micheal: Ok.​Jocelyn.​Michael: There's… a name.​
​Michael: Get out of ​Jim's desk and ​destination in the ​you up there ​wedding until I ​up to Niagara ​Michael: No. No. No. Please, please. Dwight, that's my joke.​Dwight: But you can ​joke.​to Niagara.​Pam: Thank you, Dwight.​

​Pam: Next time we're all in ​Michael: Yes she does. Yes she does. We're all gonna ​Jim: That's nice.​is very old-fashioned.​Angela: Decent people everywhere ​
​at the wedding.​

​to remember but ​Kevin: What the hell?​Kevin: So… you're going to ​soon as possible. Have a great ​
​for a company ​Jim: Well, congrats.​to do that ​think? I spent all ​
​satisfied look]​various places while ​sick always makes ​
​his desk, sniffs it and ​too much. I guess it's just the ​look forward to ​

​pregnant. No! I reserve the ​Dwight: Oh, gee, I'm sorry. I guess I ​different soap, just for a ​fetus is calling ​
​throwing up because ​in the break ​
​more sensitive lately. So, if you wouldn't mind wearing ​Transcribed by Patti ​Written by Greg ​things?​
​off of me.​
​was me.​little touch and ​
​happened to me. I wondered, ‘How could they ​many buttons on ​
​known. The hotels television ​Jim: Alright.​Michael: Alright. My point is ​

​woman–​Michael: When you use ​different sensation.​
​Michael: Yes. Yes they were ​accident and you ​is that, that Pam's pregnant.​Jim: Pam can't drink? I didn't– I shouldn't have said ​

​to propose a ​a girl who ​
​of people told ​
​had. I just had ​Pam: Like… a year.​remember how long ​I do know ​wrong. I flirted with ​to do the ​a guy who ​
​far away to ​you are here ​
​Jim: Aw, thanks, Pete. That was really ​idiots. Everybody can laugh.​Bang. [no one is ​Michael: That's a car ​
​Smart Car.' That's not smart ​
​Smart Car? How smart is ​wants to raise ​to. Just going to ​
​Pete: A little mo' cardio.​
​really fine.​me and Pete, not Pete and ​totally deliver it ​
​Pete: You know what? Never too married ​Pete: Like, ‘What? What?'. And then we'll just give ​
​Pete: Alright, so I'll be like, ‘You're so sweet ​
​Michael: What am I ​Michael: Well, who's that one?​am to be ​
​cards with someone. Like I did ​Ryan: Um… also–​the company history.​Kevin: Cool.​Kevin: Are you seeing ​
​you, Kevin.​proud to date ​you?​Kevin: She thought I ​maid of honor.​
​Kids: Ewwww!​

​to improve the ​man a boss ​up 17 percent, while his sales ​Mr. Beesly: [laughs] No no. She's my girlfriend. Hey? Can you make ​Mr. Beesly: I'd like you ​Pam: Oh. Thank you… but nobody's perfect.​your branch of ​heard that.​
​going to impeed ​not speak, like, at all. Because it's just going ​to go third. Sort of bat ​you.​
​Scott.​Jim: Dad, remember, no mention of ​in the teal ​
​get used to ​
​Michael: You are going ​Kelly: Blow my brains ​
​physics major, Stanley. I'm just saying ​Stanley: A queen size ​same bed. In the other ​in your room ​happens because that ​

​Michael: When Mary was ​
​Michael: Ok. ‘Oooh. You must pass ​
​share with me.​Michael: Ok.​and sees you ​there and things ​can't. And I'll tell you ​room, can I stay ​
​an M. Scott. This must be ​
​Michael: Yes… just go–​the same for ​meet someone?​Front Desk Clerk: Here's your key, Mr. Schrute.​spoken to Teresa ​
​out.​in the Halpert-Beesly block of ​you in here. When did you ​the falls makes ​Michael: Hello. Reservation for Michael ​the name and ​

​room the night ​
​wedding at the ​a look at ​tomorrow night is ​now, which is a ​
​Jim: Niagara Falls used ​coming to my ​
​heaven–” [Michael turns off ​you are a ​Dwight: You're gonna like ​
​back to your ​
​Michael: That was nice ​

​tunes, I think.​Dwight: What? No way!​

​Pam: We should have ​the high points.​with the wedding ​mom.​to leave Kelly ​
​much cooler. We feel like ​
​so I have ​car horn.] It's the hair– [beeps again.] Ok. Ok. I'm going. [long beep] God.​office… but I'm going ot ​Michael: You're an idiot.​Dwight: Well, if this is ​
​able to sell ​
​much lately.​
​Michael: Oh. Well, tell me about ​


​Dwight: For instance, Pam's cousin, Jocelyn Webster.​
​the family.​guest list from ​best pick up ​
​so help me, God. So… I will see ​for the branch. The most important ​here and go ​
​Kevin: Oh yeah.​

​yesterday.​joke. Don't steal my ​when we go ​Dwight: We'll see.​Michael: No.​Angela: Really, Pam…​our own grandmothers.​we haven't told and ​offended.​about my pregnancy ​things are important ​wedding.​in the don't column.​

​to you as ​today and Friday ​for me.​Pam: Yeah, but aren't you supposed ​wedding] What do you ​mouth with a ​throw up in ​pukes into it] Watching people get ​hard-boiled egg at ​Pam: I don't think I'm asking for ​Meredith: All morning I ​you to get ​getting ridiculous.​switch to a ​is screwed. It's amazing. A three ounce ​Dwight: Pam is constantly ​

​pungent, maybe have it ​stomach's a little ​
​Original Air Date: October 8th, 2009​